Barren and Blessed

For God, who said,  “Let light shine out of darkness,”  has shone in our hearts to give  the light of the knowledge of the glory of God in the face of Jesus Christ.  But we have this treasure in jars of clay, to show that the surpassing power belongs to God and not to us. - 2 Corinthians 4:6-7 Giving up the illusion of control is hard. Actually admitting that I'm not in control and that I'm ok with that is even harder. The real power for my success (and failure) does not belong to me. Oof. Once we had everything squared away for our "special circumstances" and received my very expensive medications, the IVF process officially began. If you're not familiar with the long and complicated process, here's an abbreviated version. I did hormone shots for a month to produce multiple eggs then had the surgery to remove them (and for some unknown reason didn't get as many as they would normally expect). We used 2 fresh eggs for fertilization. I took more pills. They...

For you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother's womb. I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well. My frame was not hidden from you, when I was being made in secret, intricately woven in the depths of the earth. Your eyes saw my unformed substance; in your book were written, every one of them, the days that were formed for me, when as yet there was none of them. - Psalm 139:13-16 Fair warning, this post has a lot more questions than answers. And a lot more technical details than the wise (read: fumbling) theology of some previous posts. After gathering our information and choosing our doctor we were faced with more complicated decisions than we ever imagined. We are both very much "pro-life", in the fullest sense of the word. All life is precious and created by God. So life begins at the moment of conception, right? Easy. Or not. That's a question I came back to quite often, and sti...