Barren and Blessed

I believe that I shall look upon the goodness of the  Lord  in the land of the living! Wait for the  Lord ; be strong, and let your heart take courage; wait for the  Lord ! - Psalm 27:13-14 And then we waited. And waited. And waited. We got our clearances and fingerprints and physicals renewed every year. We changed different aspects of our profile a few times as we learned and understood more about the process, especially about the openness of adoption that is the current trend. We grew and changed a lot since first starting the adoption process. But we were still just waiting. And honestly it was very, very frustrating. It's difficult, and complicated, and expensive, and takes so much time. Why? Don't we always hear about the mass amounts of kids needing families? And about the opiate crisis flooding hospitals with addicted newborns that need a good home? We're a good home! Why is this taking so long?? I don't know, but it's frustrating. The average adoption wait ...

“Thus says the  Lord  of hosts:  Consider your ways. You looked for much, and behold, it came to little. And when you brought it home,  I blew it away. Why? declares the  Lord  of hosts. Because of my house  that lies in ruins, while each of you busies himself with his own house." - Haggai 1:7,9 The time and context of the above verse is vastly different than my own, but the principle is the same. The Lord's house, His temple in me, was being steadily ignored while I busied myself with my own practices and desires. Such labors are in vain, and I ought to have known better. (Ps. 127:1) But I didn't, and so here is another reason why this trial was necessary for me. After much careful research, prayer, and debate, we decided to try a "modified" version of In Vitro Fertilization (IVF). Some part of me still blamed my husband, and that made me feel like I manipulated him into choosing IVF. But who cares right? I needed to be in control and I needed to DO ...